1. Marvel Apes is gone but not forever. Although #4 ended the miniseries, it looks like at least some of the simians may have broken through the portal into our world. And the book promises more to come. I can only hope the Vampire Apes fight the non-vamps for supremacy in our world, beginning in Wakanda, where Black Panther and Storm call up Wolverine and Angel for help. Can you imagine what will happen when Wolverape and the Logan meet up and go bezerker?

2. Flash movie! Many new superhero flicks are heavy, too heavy for me to take my under-10 kids to (see Dark Knight, Hellboy 2), and even if they’re great, they don’t have a lot of fun. I wasn’t as big an Iron Man fan as lots of folks I know—I liked it a lot, but I thought the action scenes were not well directed and the film lacked a suitable climax — but one thing that made it great was Tony Stark’s sheer joy in flying. So I’m psyched to see that they’re talking about making a movie about a superdude who ALWAYS has fun: The Flash!

3. Bye, Dick. I’m hearing that the plans for a Dick Grayson T.V. show are likely being scrapped. Good. Now, D.C., please let :Smallville put on the tights on T.V.! You’ve got a whole Justice League there, and it could be so good. It’s right on the edge. It’s within grasp. It’s . . . Going to be cancelled at the end of this year. Sigh.

4. Staying with the Krypton topic. There’s increasing buzz that the next Superman movie will be about Braniac. Now, if they dump Routh and get someone with charisma, that would be hot. Or if they based it on the recent Braniac story arc in D.C. Comics, which has led to the fantastic New Krypton story.

5. Wonderbooty. There’s also rumors that Beyonce has had talks to be the next Wonder Woman. That would probably be awesome. They need to do something to make the character interesting, after all, and there’s very little about her that’s cool.

6. Where is the fun? I’ve been annoyed at Marvel ever since Civil War, when they made Tony Stark a fascist and made the U.S. Government out to be so . . . Oppressive. Claremont’s vision of the anti-mutant world was great when it was limited to X-Men, but at some point it became the dominating (and almost exclusive) storyline everywhere. Even on T.V., Heroes is infected with it. Marvel’s probably in too deep to pull themselves out of it now, but Venom, Bullseye, and Green Goblin being “heroes” is so awful. Spidey’s “Brand New Day” was a ray of light in the increasingly bleak Marvel Universe, but the last three issues have been so damn depressing. Flash Thompson is a crippled vet. A new artist draws like old Daredevil and puts Spidey into a much darker place. Please make it stop, as soon as possible! This is the rare book I can read with my little boys. Don’t take it away!

7. From punching out The Watcher to contemplating his navel. And speaking of wrong turns, can anyone explain the major fuck up that was the most recent issue of Red Hulk? WTF??? The story was moving forward, with increasing momentum, and then suddenly bifurcated and ran head first into a concrete wall. The took one of the most raucous, fun, and funny books around and made it . . . Incomprehensible. Awful.

8. Batman: Brave and the Bold. It’s launching on Cartoon Network. Will it be good? Well, it’ll have Blue Beetle, Green Arrow, Dr. Fate, Plastic Man, and even Gorilla Grodd, so signs point to yes. The animation style looks like it skews young, but I’m hopeful.

9.  Netfux. It’s annoying that whenever a new movie comes out, Netflix has a “very long wait.” I wanna see Hellboy 2 again! Now!

10.  The Sound Of The Hammers Must Never Stop. And speaking of a Guillermo del Toro film, a recent interview has him discussing the possibility of doing a Swamp Thing movie. If anyone could make the greatest horror comic ever into big picture gold, it would be him.

Tags: Superheroes